Matthew helps copilot the Mustang (car was in park, of course)

While trudging along on my 68 mile commute to work, it hit me. I need a new car. A fast car. A really cool car with an engine that makes lots of noise.

 Although 99.99 percent of the Portland, Ore. population is obsessed with energy conservation and recycling, I’m that 0.01 percent who just wants a kick ass car that can cut down my commute time. Truth be told, even if I did get a kick ass car I probably won’t get a chance to drive very fast with the lackluster roads and conservative drivers here in PDX. But on the plus side, if I had a better car, I’d at least look awesome even while sitting in traffic.

My wife was the recipient of the last new “family” car and, since I have been driving the same pickup truck since the 90s, it is my turn to take my pick of the lot. Now much to my wife’s chagrin, I’ve narrowed down my choice to either a Ford Mustang or a Dodge Challenger. Of course, neither car screams “family friendly,” but here’s my dad logic on why a sports car is a good fit.

1. The car seat fits. I rented a Ford Mustang for a weekend so I could get a feel for the car. There’s really only so much you can tell from taking a test drive around the block with a dealer. So I rented a 2009 Mustang, strapped Matthew’s car seat in the back, and went for a drive along some windy mountain roads.
2. A radio with lots of gadgets – The Ford Mustang I rented had the Microsoft Sync technology built in. I easily spent a full hour playing with the Bluetooth settings, messing with the voice activation, hooking it up to various MP3 players (just to see what would happen), and finally just saying random gibberish to the radio to see what it would repeat back. While this may not apply to everyone – having a high tech radio like this would make me a better driver. I am constantly either on the phone, messing with my iPod, checking email on my Blackberry or messing with the radio while driving. If I was able to do all of this hands free, I would actually pay attention to the road for a change, which would be a very good thing.
3. I’ll drive slower – Sure, of course, I’ll have a few weeks of driving like a bat out of hell. But after the newness wears off, I can guarantee that I’ll drive this car more conservatively than my grandma on her way to church. How can I be so sure? If I am going to spend that much for a car, there’s no way that I am going to risk damaging it. Much like Cameron’s father in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, I will likely care for the car like a second son and gently wash it with a  diaper.

So that’s my Dad Logic on why I should buy a fast car. I know it is a weak argument, but it is all I have. Give me a few weeks to work on it.