More than 30,000 men are injured annually from falling off ladders. More than 6,000 men die each year from falls involving ladders.

While I love the holidays, and don’t want to be a Grinch or anything, I have to admit that the thought of climbing on my roof each year terrifies me. I don’t mind the cold wind, the height, or having to dangle over the side just to string up the lights. I just don’t want to be “that guy” on the local news.

One of the worst parts of climbing on the roof is the neighborhood peanut gallery. One neighbor decided to yell “don’t fall” (gee, thanks jackass) while another stayed for half an hour to chat while I was on the roof. Of course, that meant we just yelled back and forth at each other because I wasn’t going to stop what I was doing and come down just for a neighborly chat.

Risk of death and chiding from the neighbors aside, I really don’t mind having a chore like this since it gives me an excuse to get out of the house. When you have a crying kid inside, sometimes risking your neck for a little peace and quiet doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. And when I’m up way the heck up there, and have a nice view of the city, there’s little to complain about.

Here’s a few tips for putting up the lights this year:

1. Several Home Depot locations are doing a cash for clunkers deal where you can exchange your old lights for a few bucks off the new LED lights. I got 10 strands of LED lights this way, which not only saves me money in electricity, but also gave me an excuse to visit Home Depot.
2. Some genius invented gutter and shingle clips for lights. These fantastic little pieces of plastic cost under $5 for a box, but save you hours of heartache. All you do is hook on the light and slip the clip under the roof shingle (or attach it to the gutter). With these, there’s no need for a staple gun, nails or anything else.
3. Invest in a good ladder. You won’t need it just for the lights. If you’re a homeowner, you’ll need a ladder occasionally for home repair. Get a good expandable aluminum ladder and you won’t regret it.
4. Home Depot has these neat outdoor timers and light sensors. I think they were around $15. Now you have the option of just plugging in your lights to this timer and they’ll turn on automatically at night and off in the morning. The light sensor does this based on when it gets dark and when the sun rises. I’m so glad that some genius invented these gadgets.

Be safe out there and don’t risk putting up the lights in the rain or wind. It isn’t worth it. Pay a neighbor kid a few bucks to break his neck for you.