If you’re like me, your relationship with your phone is complicated. You love it, hate it, rely on it far too much, and possibly whisper sweet nothings to it when your child finally falls asleep. It’s the device that has all the photos of your family—blurry, yes, but precious nonetheless. It’s the place where you’ve archived endless text messages with your partner about whose turn it is to pick up the dry cleaning or, let’s be honest, the frozen pizza.
But here’s the thing: our phones, like the rest of us, don’t last forever. As much as we want to believe we can stretch their lifespan indefinitely—refurbishing them like a well-loved piece of furniture or trying to squeeze out one more update—they eventually succumb to the inevitable. Trust me, I’ve been there, clinging to my old iPhone for far too long, hoping it could just hold on a little longer. It didn’t. The silver lining? You can always sell your current phone and soften the blow when upgrading to a new one.
So how do you know when it’s finally time to bite the bullet and upgrade? Well, I’ve compiled a list of telltale signs that will nudge you toward that shiny new device—without feeling too guilty about the cost. After all, we’re only human, and our phones? They’re only slightly more advanced.
1. Your Phone Is Slower Than Your Toddler’s Nap Time
First things first: speed. You know the feeling. You tap your phone screen, waiting for Instagram to open, but instead of a cute picture of your friend’s new puppy, you get… nothing. Your phone freezes, and you’re left staring at yourself in the reflection, wondering why you ever thought it would keep working.
The reality is, your phone is going to slow down over time. It’s just a fact of life—kind of like how your metabolism slows down after you hit 30 (sigh). There are plenty of hacks and tricks to temporarily speed things up—refurbishing, clearing cache, deleting apps you haven’t used since 2017. But eventually, you’ll start to notice lagging, apps that refuse to open without a minor tantrum, and that inevitable moment when the phone takes ages to charge. It’s a clear signal that your beloved device is on its last leg.
2. No More Updates (Also Known as the Death Sentence)
You know those helpful little pop-ups that remind you to update your phone overnight? The ones you diligently ignore for weeks because who has the time? Well, there’s a reason for them. When your phone stops receiving updates, it’s a little like when your favorite coffee shop stops serving your go-to drink—they’re moving on without you, and you’re being left behind.
The truth is, phone companies eventually phase out support for older models. It’s a nudge (or, let’s be real, a shove) to get you to upgrade. Without updates, your phone will slowly start to feel more like a brick than a sleek piece of technology. Apps will crash, your battery life will tank, and you’ll start seriously considering becoming one of those people who leave their phone at home “for mindfulness.” Only kidding. None of us can do that.
3. Your Screen Looks Like a Piece of Modern Art (Not in a Good Way)
If you’re anything like me, you’ve dropped your phone more times than you can count—on the kitchen floor, the driveway, into the toilet (let’s not talk about that one). Each time, there’s a collective gasp as you pick it up, praying the screen hasn’t cracked. But inevitably, one day it does. You tell yourself you’ll get it fixed. And maybe you do. But if your screen is starting to glitch or, even worse, there’s damage to the actual display beneath the glass, you’re facing a bigger issue than just cosmetics.
A broken screen isn’t just annoying—it’s a functional nightmare. Swiping becomes a chore, typing out a text message turns into a game of “guess what word autocorrect meant,” and soon, it feels like you’re one bad fall away from total phone collapse.
4. Your Camera’s Glory Days Are Behind It
One of the greatest joys of having a phone in 2024 is the camera. I mean, remember when we actually carried around digital cameras? Now, our phones do it all. But here’s the thing: even phone cameras degrade over time. Maybe it’s the lens, maybe it’s the software. Either way, the photos you take no longer have that crystal-clear, Instagram-worthy shine, and you’re left wondering if you’ll ever be able to shoot great photos again.
Instead, they’re more like a Monet painting—impressionistic, blurry, beautiful if you squint. If you’re constantly deleting and retaking photos because they’re just not as sharp as they used to be, it might be time to consider an upgrade. Your kid’s first day of kindergarten only happens once—don’t let it be immortalized in pixels from 2015.
5. The Sound Quality is…What’s the Opposite of Dolby?
Remember the days when phones were just for talking? No? Neither do I. These days, our phones are our everything—alarm clocks, TVs, workout instructors, meditation apps, and, oh yeah, we occasionally make phone calls on them too. So when your phone’s sound quality starts to go, it’s a big deal.
Maybe you can’t hear the ringer. Maybe the person on the other end of the line sounds like they’re calling from the bottom of the ocean. Or maybe you’ve noticed your speaker just can’t handle that TikTok recipe video you’re trying to follow. If the sound is unreliable, it’s another clear sign that your phone is past its prime. Sure, you could try to clean out the speaker or adjust your settings, but if it’s completely lost, it might be time to move on.
6. Connectivity Issues: The Final Frontier
In our hyper-connected world, Wi-Fi isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. Whether you’re trying to find your way home using Google Maps, binge-watch “The Bear,” or just send a quick email, you need your phone to connect. So when it doesn’t? It’s like suddenly being cut off from society.
Maybe it’s your phone’s software, or maybe it’s your network provider. But if you’re constantly battling to connect to Wi-Fi and spending more time staring at your “No Signal” screen than actually using your phone, it’s not just an inconvenience. It’s a warning sign that your phone’s days are numbered.
7. Charging Woes: It’s a Losing Battle
Finally, we come to the most telling sign of all: your phone won’t charge. You plug it in at night, but in the morning, instead of 100% battery, you’re greeted with a measly 20%. You fumble with cables, try to charge from different angles, and maybe even cross your fingers—but it’s no use. Without a reliable charge, your phone is just a fancy paperweight.
When this happens, it’s time to ensure all your important data is backed up to the cloud and start thinking about that upgrade. You don’t want to be stuck trying to transfer years’ worth of photos and contacts after your phone completely gives up the ghost. And let’s be honest—there’s something satisfying about knowing your new phone will charge in minutes, not hours.
The Bottom Line: None of us wants to spend money on a new phone if we don’t have to, but at the end of the day, having a device that works as it should is worth the investment. Sure, it’s tempting to hold onto your old phone out of nostalgia or frugality, but trust me: when it starts acting more like a brick than a phone, you’ll be glad you made the switch. Besides, isn’t it time your Instagram photos actually looked as good as you remember them?
