Bringing home a newborn can feel like you’re riding an emotional rollercoaster. The first three months—often called the “fourth trimester”—are a whirlwind of sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, and figuring out how to keep a tiny human alive while trying to remember how to shower and maybe, just maybe, sleep. These days are simultaneously exhausting and exhilarating, and though every baby is unique, there are common experiences that can help new parents navigate this tender, challenging phase.
Sleep, or the Lack Thereof
The first thing you’ll notice is that the concept of sleep changes completely. Your baby doesn’t know the difference between night and day, so your once solid eight hours of sleep will now become broken up into two- to four-hour chunks. Welcome to the life of a parent of a newborn!
Newborns typically sleep between 16 to 18 hours a day, but don’t get too excited—they don’t do this in one stretch. Instead, they snooze in spurts, which can be incredibly taxing for you. As your baby’s sleep cycle develops, you’ll start noticing longer stretches at night, but this won’t happen immediately. Try to hold on to the idea that it’s all temporary. Meanwhile, setting up a bedtime routine, even when your baby is only a few weeks old, can help establish good sleep habits down the line. Something simple like a bath followed by a lullaby can create a soothing pre-sleep environment. But the real secret to sleep success? Lower your expectations and nap whenever your baby does.
On top of all this, make sure you’re following safe sleep practices. Place your baby on their back on a firm mattress, and remove any blankets, toys, or bumpers from the crib. Not only does this help your baby sleep more soundly, but it also reduces the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).
The Language of Crying
If you’re like most new parents, the sound of your baby’s cry will send you into overdrive at first. Is she hungry? Is he tired? Does she have a dirty diaper? Is he in pain? Babies communicate primarily through crying, which can be unnerving, but soon you’ll start decoding the subtle differences in their cries. With time, you’ll know if your baby’s crying because of hunger, fatigue, or discomfort, like gas.
Colic, which affects some newborns, can make these cries more intense and last longer. It can be a nerve-wracking phase, but remember, this too shall pass. Swaddling, gentle rocking, and holding your baby close often helps. Some babies love white noise or soft music—anything to mimic the familiar sounds they heard in the womb.
Diapers, Diapers, and More Diapers
Changing diapers is about to become your new full-time job. Newborns can go through anywhere from 8 to 12 diapers a day, so you’ll become quite the pro at it in no time. That said, diaper rash can become an issue if you don’t stay on top of frequent changes.
To prevent rashes, keep your baby’s skin clean and dry, and consider using diaper cream with zinc oxide to soothe any irritation. Diaper-free time each day can also help. Just be prepared for the occasional accident—this phase is messy!
Building That Bond
Bonding with your baby might not happen instantly, but trust that it will happen. The early days are filled with feeding, sleeping, and diapering, but in between all of that, you’ll find moments to truly connect with your baby. Skin-to-skin contact is one of the most powerful ways to build a bond. That simple act of holding your baby against your chest not only helps soothe them but also promotes their overall well-being.
Talking to your baby is another great way to bond. Narrate your day, sing a little lullaby, or just coo sweet nothings at them. Even though they can’t talk back, they’re learning the rhythm of your voice, and that’s a significant step in their development.
You Matter Too: Postpartum Self-Care
Yes, your baby is the center of your world right now, but don’t forget about yourself. You’ve just been through a major physical ordeal, whether it was a vaginal delivery or a C-section, and your body needs time to recover. Fatigue is normal, and if you’re experiencing the “baby blues,” that’s normal too. The hormonal shift post-birth can leave you feeling weepy, irritable, or overwhelmed.
However, if these feelings persist or intensify, you may be dealing with postpartum depression, which is more serious. Don’t hesitate to reach out to your doctor if you feel like you need help. In the meantime, stay hydrated, try to eat nutritious meals, and rest whenever you can. Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. Ask for help, whether it’s from your partner, family, or friends.
Doctor Visits and That First Round of Vaccines
The pediatrician will become your new best friend during the first three months of your baby’s life. You’ll have multiple check-ups to ensure your baby is growing, gaining weight, and meeting developmental milestones.
The two-month check-up is a big one because your baby will receive their first round of vaccines. These protect against diseases like polio, diphtheria, and whooping cough. It’s normal to feel a little anxious, but vaccines are a critical part of keeping your baby healthy. Afterward, lots of cuddles and comfort will help your little one recover from the inevitable tears.
Milestones and the Joy of Watching Your Baby Grow
The first three months fly by in a haze of sleepless nights, but they’re also a time of incredible growth and development. Your baby’s motor skills will start to kick in, and you’ll notice them gaining better control of their neck and head. Tummy time, where your baby lies on their stomach while supervised, is essential for developing upper body strength and eventually, rolling over.
Around 6-8 weeks, you’ll likely be rewarded with your baby’s first intentional smile. It’s one of the most heartwarming milestones and a sign that your baby is starting to recognize and respond to you.
Coping with the Sleep Deprivation
I won’t sugarcoat it: the sleep deprivation in the early months is brutal. You’re going to be tired, and it’s okay to admit that it’s hard. One of the best pieces of advice is to sleep when your baby sleeps—even short naps can make a difference. If you have a partner, tag-team the nighttime shifts. And don’t be afraid to ask for help from friends or family.
Emotional Highs and Lows
Parenthood is an emotional journey like no other. One moment you might be overwhelmed with love for your baby’s tiny fingers, and the next you might feel completely drained. It’s normal to experience a wide range of emotions, including moments of doubt. Try to be gentle with yourself.
Connecting with other new parents can be incredibly reassuring. Whether through a parenting group or an online community, sharing your experiences can help you feel less alone. Trust me, you’re doing better than you think.
Final Thoughts
The first three months with your newborn are a time of immense change. Yes, there will be sleep deprivation and self-doubt, but there will also be moments of pure joy and love. From your baby’s first smile to their little hands grasping yours, these early days are filled with fleeting but beautiful moments. Savor them.
