We have a lot of changes coming up. My son is entering middle school, I am starting a new job, and we are moving to a new state. With so much change, anxiety can be high at times, including worries about staying updated about changes in our new routines which includes school pick up and drop off. While I can rationally remind myself of the countless times I made it from the classroom to the school bus as a child, it doesn’t do much to lessen my overprotective tendencies as a parent.
My wife and I talked about this the other night and wondered if it would be the right time to give my son a cell phone. For us, the phone would serve as an electronic leash that would let us get in touch in case of an emergency. But let’s face it, my son is really young and trusting him with a cell phone is a big deal.
For parents of teens, the question of “when should I give my child a cell phone” is difficult. Your children are old enough to be responsible for the device, but will want to use the phone to message with friends, to get online, as well as playing Candy Crush or doing an educational crossword for example. I know a few parents of teenagers who are mulling this over as their kids are about to head back to school.
While there isn’t any single answer on when a child should get a phone, there are some things for parents to think about when making a decision.
- How will the phone be used? Is this something that you, as a parent, want your child to have for emergencies or is this something your child is requesting? Will your child use the phone to communicate with friends, will it just be a fashion accessory, or will it just be used to stay in touch with mom and dad?
- Where do you plan on using it? It makes sense to set some ground rules around where the phone can be used. If you have preteens or tweens in middle school, they might not even be allowed to have a phone out during school hours (check with the school to see their policy), so the phone will need to stay in the backpack (for emergencies) throughout the day. If you only let your children use the phones while at home to message with friends, it will be easier to supervise what is going on. And from what I’ve seen first-hand, if you are taking your children out somewhere, ask them to leave the phone in the car. Otherwise, you will battle for an actual face-to-face conversation over dinner.
- Who are you going to call? This usually will be a pretty limited group. You might want to ask for a list of friends and then find out if they have cell phones as well.
- What kind of phone do you want? This is the million dollar question. Your child will want the latest and greatest smartphone, but no parent wants to shell out hundreds of dollars for a smartphone for their kids.
A basic iPhone is a good option for teens and tweens because they are lower in cost, but can still do essential functions like texting and sharing photos in addition to running parent approved apps. I’m a fan of the parental controls built into the iPhone which allow you to set screen time limits and to monitor activity.
When deciding if your child is ready for a cell phone, the most important part is having a talk with them about the responsibilities of having a cell phone. They need to understand how to use and not abuse it, what they can and can’t do with it and how it can be taken away should they break any of the rules you outline.
Giving your child a cell phone is a big step, but it can also give some peace of mind if you are an overprotective parent like me. If you have a teen or tween, get them a nice starter phone like the Pantech Vybe and set boundaries around how it can be used. Getting your first cell phone has become a rite of passage, just as much as getting your driver license.
